Man vs. Nature

I’ve been wanting to write this for a while now. I had this analogy in my head, where yard work parallels our righteous progression. I thought I’d post it here, just for funsies.

Every year, I have the “man vs. nature” classic struggle, of trying to keep up with my yard and its many weeds. There are times that I think I should just give up, and just let the weeds take over. Especially grass-it’s great when it grows, except when it grows where I don’t want it to grow!  

But I realized, no matter how bad it gets -how riddled with sin we are, or how many sins of omission we commit (not reading scriptures, etc.), it is still worth fighting the good fight. Paul Harvey said, “Someday I hope to enjoy enough of what the world calls success so that someone will ask me, ‘What’s the secret of it?’ I shall say simply this: ‘I get up when I fall down.’”

There may be weed upon weed in my flower beds, but if I can pull just one, that’s one that I have overcome. All it takes is that first step. And usually, once I take that first step, no matter how overwhelming or daunting it may feel to get started, it leads to pulling more weeds, and more and more, until I can see the beauty lying beneath, until the bed is clean of the unwanted weeds. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, "Let us not give up. Let us be true to our covenants. Let us never lose sight of our Advocate and Redeemer as we walk toward Him, one imperfect step after another."

I also realized that if I get to the weeds when they are small, the easier they are to pull up. If I let them go, wishing they will just go away on their own, they get worse (like grass, or those climbing weeds). They will create a deeper, stronger root. And then the weeds choke out the good things I may have in my garden.

I also realized that there will never be the “perfect” time to start pulling weeds. The day is either too hot, or too cold, or too windy, or too busy. I can always find an excuse to NOT start. But, as they say, there is no time like the present. If I don’t get to it now, then when?

Is my yard perfect? Certainly not. It never will be. But it’s something that I can keep working on, until my weaknesses become my strengths. But that won’t happen until I put forth the effort-no matter how hard it may seem or how hard it may actually turn out to be. “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”

The Short Version

I think I am the President of the Procrastinator's Club.  Of course, I wouldn't know, because procrastinators would just put off having their meetings, wouldn't they?

Anyway, I've been gone WWWWAAAAAYYYYYY too long from my blog.  And so much has happened!  But I'm afraid if I try to do super detailed posts of everything, then I won't get around to doing any posting at all, because I'll just fall further behind.  So, I'm going to do the highlights, and you can fill in the details in your mind.  I trust you to make up awesome things.

So, without further ado...

Pete had his birthday.  He got a computer mouse, and then some drawings done by the kiddos.  It was very chill.

I started a chore chart for my kids. Jakob had been doing bathrooms with me for forever, and the other kids didn't have any chores.  I revamped it, and now we have a rotation of several chores.  My kids have been really great about doing chores-eager, even.

I have to supervise them, but for the most part they do pretty well.  A couple of weeks ago Troy was on dusting, and I didn't know that he was trying to do it by himself.  Needless to say, I had to scrape off oodles of dust stuff off of my dresser.  But he tried, and I guess that's what counts.

I also got a laundry basket for each of my kids, and now they fold their own clothes.  I have to help Ivy a lot, but they do well folding their own clothes.  I'm not quite ready to have them try and run the washing machine by themselves, but it's helped me a lot to divvy out their clothes for them.

Brock lost his two top teeth in the last little bit.  I love the toothless smile.

We spent mother's day with my parents.  It was really fun.  My mom is a spaz.  She's so cute!

My cute friend Sara got some free tickets to a show called "Handsome Little Devils", so she invited me and our other friend Anna to go. The actors do a lot of juggling tricks-that kind of thing.  It was really impressive. And I got pulled up on the stage!  The actor next to me had me hold some roses out in front of me, and he whipped the tops of them off while balancing on a ladder!  It was really cool.

We had an Easter egg hunt at my parents' house, in the 400 mile-an-hour wind.  Idaho "spring" is very, very windy.

Ivy had her third birthday.  For some reason, I always space on the candles for cakes.  Also for some reason, I had a brand new "1" candle, but that's it-no others.  Awesome.  So that's how we ended up with two matches as the other candles.

She got some clothes, and some hair things, a Tinkerbell doll, and the movie Bambie.

I was outside on a Saturday, and Troy ran out to be with me.  His hands were in his jacket.  He tripped, and fell flat on his face on the driveway.  I saw the whole thing and couldn't do anything to stop it.  So very sad.

A few days later, Troy graduated from preschool.  He loved preschool, but he is so ready to go to kindergarten in the fall.

And speaking of graduations, Brock graduated from kindergarten.  Their program was really cute, and I thought I would cry a lot, but I didn't.

(Okay, so here is where I tried to insert a video of Jakob's piano songs, but it wouldn't load.  Good job, blogger!  So, maybe someday I'll get it to load, but until then, just pretend that you can watch that video here.)

I had my piano recital.  I've been teaching Jakob this year as well.  He did an awesome job!  He was all, "My legs were shaking a lot!"  And I don't know why he decided to stand while playing, but whatever.  He did great, as did my other students.  I played as well, and did pretty good, but botched the end of my last song.  Oh well, though.  It's not the first time I've messed up a performance, nor will it be the last, I'm sure.

Also, I look like Beaker when I play the piano: my eyes are really wide, and my mouth turns down at the corners.  It's neat.

Right after school got out, I got sick, for a week!  It was way super awesome.  I love being sick.

We took a quick jaunt to Utah for Pete's mission reunion.  I was a little bored but I think Pete enjoyed seeing some of the people from his mission.  We hung out with family, and went to Thanksgiving point, to the dinosaur museum there.  I had no idea why Ivy is crying in the above picture.

They have a digging spot at the museum, where you can uncover "bones".  All my kids enjoyed that part.

All of my boys have individually told me that they want to either study or dig up dinosaur bones.

We ate at Benihana on the way back home.  The kids' menus folded up into hats.  Troy zonked out with his hat still on.

And, this last Sunday, Ivy decided to take some scissors to her own hair.  The pile of hair she chopped off is in her hands in this pic.

She did a very thorough job on both sides of her head.  It was very mullet-esque.  It's kind of hard to see in the pictures of it.  Needless to say, we needed to get it fixed up.  I figured a cute little pixie hair cut would work.  And, of course, all this happened before I got her 3-year-old picture taken.  Because I've been really on top of things lately.  (Pres. of the Procrastinator's Club, remember?)

Here it is, all fixed up.  Pete thinks it's kind of boy-ish, but I think if I keep a barrette in it then it will be feminine enough.

Well, that pretty much catches us up to speed.  Sorry it's not heavy on the details, but I just wanted to get 'er done, you know?  So that maybe, someday, I can step down as the President of the Procrastinator's Club.  You know, when I get around to it.

Unfinished Thoughts

I've been a little frustrated all week.  I think it's because I taught a lesson on self-mastery to my cute Young Women on Sunday.  And I'm probably the last person that should be teaching that.  Because I'm the ultimate non-master of myself. 

We were talking about bad habits, and I told the girls that sometimes I end up leaving my dishes unwashed, so that they're lining my counter, and have dried food on them and I hate that that's become one of my habits.  Now, it's not every day, but still, it happens way more often than I'd like.  I was explaining this, and one of the girls got this "how gross" look on her face.  And I was like, I know, right?  Totally gross. 

But really, it's not just dirty dishes.  It's laundry that piles up taller than Troy (I measured today).  It's unmopped floors and stinky bathrooms.  It's the unfinished projects sitting by my computer.  It's the oh-crap-we're-almost-out-of-milk-better-finally-make-a-list-and-run-to-the-store.

It's procrastination.

And I hate it about myself.  It's even hitting the snooze button-I'm procrastinating getting up out of bed.

I wish I could be one of those tackle everything immediately kinds of people.  And I can be like that about some things.  But I end up procrastinating a lot more often than I'd like.

Let's be honest.  Most of the things that I procrastinate are the things that I hate doing.  Chores, if you will.  And it boils down to being part of my "job" as a homemaker.  If I had a performance review right now of how I was doing, I'd probably get fired.  I'm surprised my kids haven't fired me yet.

So, what to do about it?

I only had a few minutes to prepare my lesson.  (Not because of procrastination, luckily, but just a miscommunication.)  So here are a few more thoughts that I wish I could have brought up.  I'm writing them here, just for myself.

In the lesson I brought up the ending of the poem Invictus.  The last two lines read "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."  I wish I had had a copy of the whole poem, and had given it as a handout.  We talked about it briefly.  Basically, we are in charge of our own destiny.  If we don't like the direction we are heading in, we need to change it. 

I wish I had known beforehand that the author of that poem, William Ernest Henley,  had to have his leg amputated at 25 (which is about when he wrote the poem), and he died at 53 after leading a very active life.

We also read a scripture: Mosiah 4:27-...it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength.  And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize...  I wish I would have had a minute to think about that scripture.  Because right now, it's not realistic to expect my house to be spotless-I have four little kids running around making messes right and left!  But again, I can't blame them for it all.  I need to be diligent, that I "might win the prize". 

I was thinking about some of our girls that play sports, especially the track girls.  Every person has their different strengths; not everyone is made to sprint; not everyone is made for long distance, either.  But everyone has their own race to run, at their own pace.  What one person can accomplish in a day is not the same as another person.  And it can ebb and flow in our own lives-there are times when we can conquer a lot, get a lot done, and feel great.  There are other times when it's all we can do to get everyone fed for the day, never mind do the dishes on top of that.  But you can't win a race if you don't even get on the track to start the race to begin with.

The gist of the lesson was thoughts lead to actions, which lead to habits, which lead to your character, and finally to your destiny.  So to change a habit, we need to change our thoughts and our actions, which will lead to a different destiny.

So this is my step 1: I'm trying to change my thoughts.  I've realized that no one is going to do the laundry for me.  No one is going to push me out of bed.  Not that this is a new epiphany for me, but I'm the only one to blame for having a laundry pile the size of a small mountain.

My step 2: my actions.  Yesterday I "caught up" on dishes.  Today I "caught up" on laundry.  My goal to change my habit of procrastination is to do two loads of laundry every day, and to do my dishes every day, no matter how late. 

And, this should lead to my step 3: my habits getting changed.  There are so many other things that am tired of procrastinating on, like painting my downstairs living room, or making new bedspreads for my boys.  But if I can conquer the mundane everyday tasks, then I can move on to bigger and better, and conquer those things, too.

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

I challenged my girls to pick just one bad habit, and work to change it.  And that is what I am going to do.  Because I AM the master of my fate.  I AM the captain of my soul!

Brave New World

I'm the kind of person that likes to start a project, and finish the project, without having other projects that are half completed.

My current life? So not like that right now. And it drives me crazy. I have a bunch of half-way, kind of started, PROJECT projects laying about. Like, big humongous, can't tackle in one sitting kind of projects.

For instance, I've started in on my genealogy. That's not just a one hour, or one day, or one week project. It's actually kind of an ongoing thing.

Or painting. Sure, I got Ivy's room done, but I have a huge 5-gallon thing of paint, sitting in my kitchen, just waiting. Waiting for me to clean walls and fix dings and move furniture and cover up carpet in my downstairs family room, and get kids out from under my feet so I can paint the dang white walls a beautiful blue already.

Scrapbooking. Neverending. About, oh, two plus years behind on that now.

Anyway, because I'm crazy, or JUST NOT BUSY ENOUGH, I've taken up a new "hobby", if you will.

Couponing.

Week after week, I'd go grocery shopping. And week after week, I'd get more and more frustrated at the prices of the items that I'd be buying, and my grand total.

I had heard the whole schpeal before: get coupons, hit the sales, yadda yadda. But I had never put forth the effort. Then my cousin and his wife came up not too long ago, and my cousin starts bragging to my dad about his wife's mad shopping skills, how she can literally come home from the grocery store with a car full of groceries, having not spent a single dime. And I got all jealous, and motivated, and thinking, maybe I can do that too.

So I started. And it sucks.

Don't get me wrong. It's good. And I'm still very motivated. But that first Sunday, when I sat down with 5 newspapers, attempting to separate ads and coupons and all that, it took me hours upon hours to get through it all. That was two weeks ago. Last week was better. It didn't take me as long, and I actually found some things that I knew were a good price, and was able to actually match up a coupon with a sale. (Yes, singular. But hey, I'm still just starting out.)

I figure if I can save even $25 a week on groceries, that's $100 a month. That's my starting goal. The first week, I spent just as much on groceries, but I got a ton of frozen chicken (it would normally have cost me $60 to get the amount of chicken that I spent $28 on). Last week I spent about $20 less than I normally would have. And this last shopping trip, I spent $103 but saved $100. YAY! I also got hot dogs, which normally I'd spend $1 on a package, but each package was 38 cents instead. So, thus far, I'm shooting about 50% off on 50% of my grocery needs. That's not too bad. Not too good, either, but I'm just starting out.

I've realized that this new "project"/way of life is going to be slow going. That I'm sure I'll get frustrated. And, I hate shopping, and making several stops. I know that there will be a big learning curve. But, I love saving money. I love that I feel smarter with my money. I know that there are a lot of ladies out there that know the system, and can help me out. I know I'll get better at it. And even if I can't hit $0, at least I'll be spending less than what I was.

Coupon world, here I come!

A Smattering

There are about 4 million things that I haven't blogged about. Because I'm a winner like that. But now I wanna, so I'm gonna.

-I love my calling. And the ladies I work with are A-MAZ-ING. End of story.

-Jakob had a dance competition last Saturday. He was awesome. I seriously had tears in my eyes that I had to choke back while watching.

-My parents, who are The Awesomest Parents of All Time, have taken me and some of my sisters to a couple of different plays. One was "Forever Plaid", which is one of my favorites, and the other was a Shakespearean improv by a group called iO Theater. Seriously, so funny.

-I suck at improvising.

-My parents also paid for a hotel room in our town, and we swam at the really warm pool and ate pizza and watched a movie. Did I mention that my parents are the awesomest of all time?

-My cute sister Brianna, who I call Beej, came to visit from New York where she lives. We watched the Olympics, and we went skiing, and it was so very very fun.

-I'm in love with the men's skating now, more so than the women's.

-Pete and I are going to go out to New York beginning of June to visit Beej and her hubby Spencer. We're going to see the Sacred Grove and Niagara Falls. Cool huh?

-We paid off our minivan with our tax return. YAY!

-Pete and I went skiing for an afternoon a while back. It was the first time for both of us in years and years. It was really fun, and a beautiful day.

-I've had an awesome cough/cold/sinus thing for the last week and a half. It's been oh-so-awesome. But I finally went to see the doctor, and he gave me some stuff, and it's finally going away.

-I hate waking up during the night, but I especially hate waking up coughing.

-Ivy has been talking more and more, which is wonderful.

-I was totally going to potty train Ivy this month. I'm thinking it's not going to happen. I should. But she's so little.

-Sweet moment #1: Troy was trying to teach Ivy how to pray the other day. "...say 'thank you for this day'..." And Ivy says, "...dis dahey..."

-Sweet moment #2: Jakob realized that this fall, Brock will be going to the same school as he is. He just got so excited. Jakob: "And we can eat lunch together, and go to recess together, and I'll help you on the bus!"

-I love that my little boys are all buddies. Sure, they'll fight, but it's not very often.

-Funny moment: In the car, on the way to Brock's preschool, Troy was singing "Twinkle twinkle little dragon", instead of "star". For whatever reason. And Brock says, "Troy, sing it NER-MAL!"

-I have zero drive to digital scrapbook right now. I know that once I start, it'll be great and it will go super fast. But it's just getting started on it.

-I have a ton of other more pressing "projects" that I always have to get done before even thinking about the digital scrapbooking. So not only do I not have the drive, but it's also really far down on the priority list.

-Other projects that I want to do but am clearly not finding the time to do: spring cleaning, repainting my walls, and practicing some new piano songs.

-I can't wait for it to get warmer outside.

-My tulips are starting to poke out of the ground. Just barely.

-Tulips make me happy.

-I love teaching piano.

-Lately I've been taking a little afternoon nap, before Jakob gets home from school. Ivy's down for her nap, and the boys generally let me sleep. It's awesome.

-I got my hair cut a little while ago. And I love it. I can just blow-dry it, and it looks fine for the most part (well, to me, anyway). I used to hate how fine my hair was, but now I'm at peace with it.

-I'm also at peace with my super duper white skin. Porcelain. Or reflection. Either or.

-I need some new books to read. Not that I have time to read, but still.

-The Sherlock Holmes short stories were really fun to read. Maybe I should do one of the Sherlock Holmes novels.

-I have a massage/pedicure gift that Pete gave me for Christmas. I used it today, and it felt AWESOME. And now I have 5,000 gallons of energy. It's amazing what a little relaxation and some painted toenails can do for a girl.

-I helped in Jakob's class on Monday, and the kids had to make up a math problem about cookies. After listening to 18 stories about cookies, that's all I could think about. So my boys and I made chocolate chip cookies after dinner that night.

-Cookies are one of my vices.

-Coke is another one.

-Last time I went to the store they were completely out of Coke. Inexcusable, Walmart, to keep a girl from her Coke.

-All of my boys' pants have holes in the knees. And of the pants whose holes I patched, new holes have appeared below the patch, because my boys have grown.

-I'm thinking I'll just leave the holes in the pants. Because white trash can be a statement, too.

-There are also holes in my couch.

-I want new couches. I'm trying to convince Pete that that's what he wants for his birthday.

-I'm in a purging mood. There is SO much that I want to toss out the window!

-I teach my last week of Troy's preschool next week. Hallelujah! (Don't get me wrong; they're cute kids. But the six of them plus two more of my own plus me equals pure chaos.)

-My boys have all drawn pictures for me in the last few days. I love it.

-Life is good.

The end.

To Do

I'm having surgery Wednesday morning. Also, YW in Excellence is tomorrow.

I have SO much to do, yet I'm sitting here, checking people's blogs, and generally doing nothing much.

To do:
- Clean the entire house. This includes the absolutely disgusting bathrooms, which I hate hate hate to do. This last week two of my piano students had to use the bathroom; they are both girls. And, um, we have no toilet paper in that bathroom, because a) I have boys that only have to wipe every once in a while and use Kandoo wipes to do it, and b) when the roll is on the holder, my kids (usually Ivy, now) unroll the WHOLE thing onto the floor. Both girls were like, Uh, you have no toilet paper. I was like, use the kleenex? Yeah, it was embarrassing.
- Make these yummy applesauce bars, kind of like carrot cake, with a yummy cream cheese frosting on top. Mmmmm....
- The Neverending Laun-n-dreeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! (I wish I had a house elf, just for doing laundry.)
- Sew some scripture bags that we're giving to the young women for tomorrow night. Easy peasy, but first I need to clean my kitchen and mop my floor so I have somewhere to put my sewing machine.
- Pay some bills, which is why I originally sat down at the computer, but decided I would check blogs/email first.

*sigh*

What are you procrastinating doing right now?

No I'm Not!

I'm not doing laundry.
I'm not organizing my pantry.
I'm not paying my bills and balancing my checkbook.
I'm not blogging about my way cool weekend with my way cool bro- and sis-in-law.
I'm not mopping.
I'm not putting away my dishes and running another load.

I need to do all this stuff, but I'm not.

What are you not doing?

Update: I am, however, cleaning up a poopy bum of a three-year-old that decided not to go in the toilet. And, I'm picking up my Kindergartner that just had diarrhea at school. What can I say? Poop happens.

Do as I'm Doing

Just me and my cuddle bug. No, I'm not embarrassed; I got super sunburned on Saturday. You'd think after 28 years of fair skin that I'd actually remember sunscreen every time I go outside, but I still forget. DOH!

What I should be doing:
Cleaning…pretty much anything in my house. It’s filthy!
Writing thank-you notes to the amazing people that have been so kind to me lately.
Hanging blinds and putting smoke alarms back together
Running errands-tons of places to go
Setting up my nursery

What I wish I were doing:Getting another massage.
Giving birth to my baby girl. I’ve had enough pain and discomfort!
Sleeping! I’m definitely not getting enough right now!
Eating something chocolate and drinking Coke!

What I’m actually doing:Trying to breathe. I have some kind of sinus thing going on, and the sinus stuff I took totally isn’t helping.
Blogging (that’s obvious!)
Sitting, because walking is super painful for me right now. My baby is resting on a ligament or tendon or something, so my right leg is killing me. Even lying down can be painful.

So, what are you doing (besides reading the best blog in the universe) , should be doing (don't worry, this blog is SO worth every second you spend on it!) , or wish you were doing (reading my blog...wishes really do come true!) ???