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The Nat Pack: The super fashionable, super mod, super hip family consisting of Nat, Pete, Jakob, Brock, Troy, and Ivy. Like The Rat Pack, only younger, cuter, and not as rich or famous.
Showing posts with label doctors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doctors. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Angry Letters

Dear Local Overpriced Store,

While in the midst of my roadshow preparations, I learned that I would be needing some paint.  I was told, dear store, that you were the only place I could buy temper paint.  I was completely wrong.  After purchasing said paint, I saw temper paint at a national craft store.  Not only was the bottle at the other store bigger, they carried more colors, and it was cheaper.  So, each of your small bottles: $2.99.  Their big bottle of the same stuff: $1.99.  Good job, overpriced store.

a good illustration of the small bottles and large bottles

I changed my mind about using temper paint, though, and got something else.  I tried to return the paint to your store the very next day.  That's when you informed me of your store policy: no refunds, only exchanges.  I'm pretty sure you're one of the few stores left in America that has this as part of your policy.  And even though there are other stores with this kind of policy, the cashiers tell the customer as they are purchasing their wares so the customer is not caught off guard, much like I was.  I had no time that day to look around for an exchange, so I took my paint back home.

I ended up using some of the temper paint.  Which, as a side note, does not work very well on cardboard.  And it comes off onto your hands when you have to grab the cardboard.

About a month later, after the roadshow, I went back the hopes of exchanging the paint not used.  The unused paint, by the way, had been sealed up; I hadn't broken the seal, so it was obviously unused.  I went in, and that's when I was informed about your other return policy, of no exchanges after 30 days.  Um, it had been, like, 34 days.  Really, store?  Again, you couldn't have told me at the time of the initial purchase?

To your credit, you have your return policy up on the wall, about 15 feet behind the purchasing counter, on the side so customers have to crane their necks to see it.  It is on a homemade sign, and small enough that I had to squint at it to read it.  Good job, overpriced store.  Needless to say, you need to work on your communication skills and visual aids, and I need to work on my observation skills, or perhaps need to bring binoculars with me.  Also needless to say, I will not be returning to your store.  Thank you for wasting my time and my money.

From,
Disgruntled Paint Purchaser



Dear Expensive Jeans Store,

I used to love your jeans.  They were the only jeans that fit my body well.  They were expensive, but I put up with that because of the fit.  But you've lost your touch, Jeans Store.

When I last bought some of your jeans, I noticed the legs were way too long.  They are also way too thin.  This is Idaho, not Texas-our jeans need to be thicker!  And I think they were so long so you could wear high heels with them.  Again, Jeans Store, know your audience-IDAHO.  We're in snow boots half the year.

I had to hem up the bottoms of the pants.  Also, after I wear them once, they sag in the butt and fall down, so I'm hitching them up constantly.  I guess I should wash them after one wear to keep them from stretching too far, but because they are so expensive I only have 2 of them.  And, it's not like I don't have enough laundry to do.  I should be able to wear them at least twice before washing.

not my butt, but this is what it feels like

Jeans Store, I just don't think the price you charge is worth the "quality" I get any more.  I'm going to have to deal with these pants for a while, until they wear out.  Which, actually, should be soon, because they're so thin-there will be holes in the knees in no time.  After that, I'm going to have to shop elsewhere.

Sincerely,
Cold, Saggy-Bummed Lady



Dear Mean Chiropractor,

I'd like to write and tell you how much your belittling me has meant to me.  My back had been hurting for quite some time.  I had been to your office before, but had been treated by your co-worker, who is quite nice.  I thought maybe you'd be the same, but I was sorely mistaken.

The first time I went in to you, you fixed me up.  My back finally had some relief.  We scheduled a follow-up for the following week.  And this is when you lost me as a customer.

right where my back has been hurting

I had the first appointment after your lunch break.  It was scheduled for an hour before I had to get my son again from preschool, so I thought I had plenty of time.  After waiting 45 MINUTES for you to get back from your lunch break, I had about 2 minutes until needing to leave to get my son.  It's not like I was waiting for you to finish with another patient.  If you don't want to be back on time from lunch, then don't schedule people for that time period.

I informed you that I had to leave soon.  And that's when you started to make snide comments to me about how stat-at-home moms are soooooo busy, as in busy eating bon-bons

I did not appreciate your attitude toward my job as a homemaker and mother.  Maybe your wife (bless her heart) has a maid, and a cook, and a nanny, and a chauffeur, and a dry cleaner, but I don't-I do all of that on my own.  So excuse me for needing you to be prompt for my appointments.  I wasn't late, and you shouldn't be, either.  Common courtesy, man.

Also, could you tell your receptionist to not pull out condescending remarks as well?  After my awful appointment with you, where I got billed $40 for 2 minutes of your oh-so-precious time where you pushed my back right into the original "out" position (causing further appointments/money with a new chiropractor), I received a bill, informing me that I was "late" on my payment.  So I called, and asked if your business had sent a claim to my insurance.  Your receptionist decided to tell me all about my deductible, as if I didn't know.  When in fact, she didn't have the right information.  I don't like to be talked to as if I am a two-year-old.

So, dear chiropractor, if I ever see you again it will be too soon.  And I will never frequent your office again.  This town has about 50 million chiropractors; you'd think that you would be trying your hardest to keep the clients you have.  But apparently that is not your focus; instead it's on 2 hour lunch breaks and belittling housewives.

Always,
"Just" a homemaker



Dear Fridge,

Is it too much to ask of you to work properly?  You are a fridge, and only 6 years old at that.  A few years ago, you started leaking water from the freezer into the fridge portion of your body.  The water would freeze in the back, and drip down onto the bottom of your insides.  I got you fixed.  And then a few months later, I fixed you again.  And again.  And again.

By now, fridge, I could have bought your twin with all the repair cost I have put into you.  Is that what you want, fridge?  To be replaced so easily?

Right now, I'm trying to save up for laser eye surgery.  The last thing I want to do is spend money on either fixing you (again) or replacing you.  So for now, I have to put plastic containers in the back of you to catch your water overflow (which comes from who-knows-where) and emptying it out every other day.



And sometimes, fridge, you have decided to also do the leaky thing in the freezer part of yourself.  Which then makes an ice layer that freezes around all the goods I have in there.  Chipping food out of my freezer isn't the best use of my time, nor would I like it to become a new hobby.  Couldn't you just...work?  Like a normal fridge?  I'm all about quirks and individuality, but I draw a line when you're a menace to my kitchen.

So, fridge, I'll stick it out with you, for now.  But once my eyes are all lasered, it's on.  You're next, pal.

With love,
Annoyed Owner

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Money Money Money By the Pound!

Check it out:

These are some of the bills from Pete's kidney stone adventures.

And here's a list:
First emergency room trip: $1,160
Second emergency room visit where they didn't help Pete in ANY way: $973
First surgery that didn't work: $13,238
Second surgery: $15,377
One doctor bill: $5,056
Another doctor bill: $926

We're still waiting for 3 or 4 more bills to come from that whole awesome week.  But the total so far is...wait for it...
$36,730

No, I did not misplace my comma.  And the photographic evidence shows I'm not lying about the numbers.  It's too bad we have to pay, even when we don't get anything out of it.  Grrr about that.

So, to sum up:

Kidney stone week: $36,730, plus pain and agony and stress.
Aftereffects: still agony and stress
Health Insurance: priceless

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Drug-Induced Musings

You know how there are some musicians that take drugs and totally make their best music when high? Well, you're not going to get any genius from me while I'm on pain meds; I mostly just lose my short-term memory and repeat myself a lot and watch the room spin around. Which can be fun, too, I guess. I was going to make this super clever post about my awesome surgery, but the more I think of it in my swooshing head the more it's just not super clever. But I still want to type, so you get a mediocre version of my super witty post. Lucky you! (See? And I said "super" at least three times in the last two sentences. Yay, short term memory!)

First, I realized that I should have explained my surgery; I just kind of threw the news out there. I had what is called uterine prolapse, where the ligaments that typically hold the uterus in place and upright kind of gave up, which was giving me a lot of back pain; the solution was to get a complete hysterectomy. Despite some nausea afterwards, the surgery went well, and hopefully I'll be getting back to normal soon. I can't do any lifting or stretching for about a month, which means no housework like sweeping or vacuuming or laundry. So it's like a vacation. A pretty sucky vacation, but a break of sorts nevertheless.

The anesthesiologist that came in the first time (I saw about three or four of those guys, but I'd better only get charged for one of 'em) was like the McDreamy of my hospital; I swear when he smiled he that little star-thingy (*) by his teeth and it went ping! All of the nurses and doctors were really nice, especially since my surgery got pushed back because of an emergency C-section my doctor had to perform.

They had this thing called Bair Paws; the dressing gown had little tubey things in it, and a tube of warm air connected to it, and it fills the gown with warm air. Oooooh, so nice. I'm going to try to link to a pic of it right here. I've also had these anti-embolism stockings, which have kept my post-surgery cankles in check, and keeps the circulation a-flowing, so my feet are actually warm, and helps with the blood clot chances. Added bonuses there! Oh, and the best part: they had these leg brace looking things, and they alternately fill with air and squeeze your legs a little bit, then let go. Again, for the clotting reason, but it was like a 24-hour leg massage. Me likey. A lot.

I totally stayed up until 2 a.m. Monday night making bags for YW in Excellence, along with hemming these colored cloth things. I did a really crappy job. It was like drunk dialing, but for seamstresses. I don't think I could have done a better job with my current drugged state as I did that night. Which tells you how great of a seamstress I am.

When we were checking in at the hospital, they asked if we wanted to pay upfront. I asked if we could get a discount if we did pay now. We got 20% off. There are a lot of couponers out there that would be so proud of us.

Um, that's all I can think of right now. Maybe when I'm a bit more sober/lucid/coherent I'll come up with something more.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Tuff Stuff


Today I took Brock to the doctor's. He was overdue for some shots, and he's had a thing growing on his face pretty rapidly. I thought it was a wart, my mom thought it was maybe a mole. The doctor's verdict: a wart. We decided to basically cut it off while there. And let me tell you, Brock is a tough cookie. Three nurses had to hold him down and attempt to keep him still enough so the doctor wouldn't bludgeon his face while trying to remove said wart. He got it off, but not without some serious wrestling and sweating on Brock's part. Then the poor kid still had to get one shot in his leg after he thought it was all over. I'm just glad we didn't take Jakob-my cute neighbor watched him for us-thanks a ton, Arin! The last time Jakob went to the doctor's he got seven shots. Had he watched Brock through this ordeal, I think he would have sworn off doctors for life and thought we were the meanest parents in the whole world. Now for the hard part for me-keeping a 3-year-old's face clean!