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The Nat Pack: The super fashionable, super mod, super hip family consisting of Nat, Pete, Jakob, Brock, Troy, and Ivy. Like The Rat Pack, only younger, cuter, and not as rich or famous.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Bittersweet

This is the last can of formula I will ever buy. It's kind of a milestone, in a way. And it makes me kind of happy, but kind of nostalgic in a way.
Happy, because I'm leaving the baby phase. Nostalgic, because I'm leaving the baby phase.
I can't wait until Ivy is walking, and talking. No more carriers, no more diapers (some day), no more hungry newborn cries during the night. No more bottles, no more pregnancy. No more high chair soon. I don't have to try and hold a struggling baby on my lap during three hours of church. She'll be able to feed herself, and tell me things, and climb the stairs. Her little personality will keep blooming. And then she'll be a toddler, and then a kid, just like her brothers. I can't wait to see what kind of people my four wonders will become.
But.
There's nothing like feeling that little body wiggle around in your tummy during pregnancy. There's nothing so miraculous as birth. Holding a newborn and smelling their sweet scent at 2 a.m. is irreplaceable. I'll miss cuddling with a baby. And even now, my boys still love to cuddle with me, but someday they'll grow out of that, where kisses from Mom will be oh so gross, and can she be any more embarrassing?
I hope that I'll be able to strike the right kind of balance. That even on the days where my kids are driving me crazy, I can appreciate that the woes come from them eating the entire banana bunch in one day instead of it being over a totaled car. That on the days where my kids are so sweet and good and try their very best, I can appreciate that the joys are from them learning and living and growing instead of from the sweet newborn straight-from-heaven moments. I hope that I can enjoy it all, and then remember the good in every stage of their lives, and cherish every minute, even the crazy minutes. And I hope that time doesn't rush away, or go too slow, but that time becomes the timeless moments.
Moments like these.

The boys watching Mythbusters while all cuddled around Pete.


Me tickling Ivy.

video
(If you can't tell what I was videotaping, Ivy is growling. She's been our only growler, and it's so funny!)

15 comments:

suzy Q. said...

Oh wow...I can't believe how big your kids have gotten! That is so crazy! Congrats on no more formula, though!

Amy said...

Ahh, yes. No more babies. But it will be GREAT!!

Rachel said...

I am right there with you, I am glad this is my last pregnancy, but kind of sad at the same time.

Mindy H. said...

It is amazing how quickly life changes... even when we don't want it to. I'm glad that you can see the joy in the changes in your life, but I think that your ability to appreciate those seasons of life that are ending is an equally great quality.

And the growling baby is adoreable!

Momza said...

There is something very sentimental about going down the baby aisle for the last time for formula or baby food or diapers. It's freeing and at the same time winsome.
I thought it was all over until my oldest daughter announced her pregnancy last month...now I happily stroll over to the baby aisle and pick up those things all over again with joy and thanksgiving. It comes naturally to those with mother-hearts, doesn't it?

Momza said...

PS LOVE the growling!! O my goodness!! She is too wonderful for words!

Karlenn said...

I know that, when I know I'm done, it will be really hard for me to let the baby thing go. I LOVE babies, and it will be tough for me. I'm still thinking maybe a fourth kid... but we'll see. And I can't believe how much Ivy is toddling around against the couch! She'll be walking before we know it!

jomama said...

you're so right. there are so many moments that are so bittersweet and put a lump in your throat. i guess it is the most we can do to hope we're thinking about those moments as they happen, and cherish them as you said. sounds like you're doing a good job of it!

Jennifer said...

Great post! Jason and I love the movie of Ivy. She is cute!

Mosers said...

I am having such an emotional day today about this same subject.. Peyton is our last and I am trying to ween him... ooooohhh it is testing my patience!

Emily said...

I too have bittersweet moments. I have 3 trash bags FULL of baby boy stuff that I cannot bring myself to part with. (I try the peptalks, my tubes are tied and I really am happy with being done, but the clothes are SO cute!), then I remind myself that it took 4 years to get rid of all my baby girl stuff so I will just hold on to them for one more year and hopefully then I can part with them.

Emily said...

What a cutie!!!

Ashley said...

You said it perfectly! I feel the same way. I told Ryan the other day that I am trying to really enjoy this last pregnancy and he said "so you didn't enjoy the other!". It is hard to watch a phase of your life that is so special be done. Although I am sure the next phase will be just as awesome. You are a wonderful mom too...so I am sure you will make the best of it!

Kelly said...

That picture of the boys together is so great and Ivy, what a sweetheart!

Beej said...

It's crazy to me that you are done with kids. It makes me sad that I won't have kids the same age as yours. I guess that that is how it goes, though. It has been so fast. I remember like it was just yesterday when Jake was born. It's amazing how fast the time flies. I wish that I could turn it back or slow it all down. I hope that your kids will still remember me when we visit and that I am in their memories of their childhood. I feel bad that we aren't around much...