Jakob has a really skewed sense of what lazy is. Well, maybe it's a skewed sense of what we as adults-that is, his parents, do.
He told his gym teacher one day that he was being lazy at his class, "just like my dad". Yeah, I think that getting up at 5 a.m. four days a week to go to work, and getting home at 6:30 at night is being TOTALLY lazy.
Then last night Jake wanted more dinner, so he asked me for some. I was like, "You can get some more by yourself." And he gave me this look like, what? I have to serve myself? As he was dishing up, he muttered, "I wish I could stay home and do nothing like Mom does."
That made me laugh. I replied, "Jake, do you want to hear what I did today? It definitely wasn't "nothing"."
He looked at me with "impress me" in his eyes. I began.
"First, I got up, so I could get you up, made you a lunch, and got some breakfast for you. I got you out the door so you could catch the bus and get to school on time.
"Then I got breakfast for the other three kids, and got myself ready for the day. I started some laundry, and folded three other loads from yesterday's laundry, and put it all away. Later in the day, I folded two more loads and put that away as well.
"I cleaned out the fridge, and dumped the old food. I rinsed dishes, loaded the dishwasher, and after it was done running I put all the dishes away.
"I took out the garbage, which includes getting garbage from 6 cans, and also changing out the cat litter box. After the garbage man came, I brought the garbage can back in.
"I finished writing down the music for one of our roadshow songs. (Meaning, I had to come up with accompaniment for one of the songs, so it's like I was composing a bit. I did about 2/3s of it yesterday. And this was not an easy task for me.)
"I swept the kitchen floor so my students wouldn't get grossed out looking at it. I also cleaned some pee off the bathroom floor. (Totally gross, I know, but that's how it is with three little boys who don't have the greatest aim.)
"I got lunch for myself and three kids, and listened to a tantrum from Ivy (for about 30 seconds, then I sent her to her room) because she didn't want what I got for her for lunch. I got Brock ready and out the door for his school.
"I taught four piano lessons today.
"I did have a slight break, because usually on Tuesdays I go and help in Brock's kindergarten class, but today they were doing something special so his teacher told me not to come. Instead, I finished the craft pages you kids had started earlier in the week. (It's mosaics with little sticky foam squares. Like paint-by-number but with squares. It was fun, and because it's for 6-year-olds, about at my crafting level. This owl one is one that Jakob did on Saturday; it's one of the small ones. I did three big ones.)
"During piano lessons, Troy, Brock, and Ivy came in from playing outside, COVERED in mud. I had to strip Ivy down, and then sent her downstairs to wait to get cleaned up until after I was done teaching. That means another load of laundry, with three coats in it that I had cleaned only a week before, bringing my washed loads total for the day to three, and my folded loads for the day to six. (And then she fell asleep, with mud on her face and in her hair. I'm the best mom ever!)
"I also checked your homework, listened to you read, made four beds, including yours, and made dinner. I also answered your questions you had while practicing piano.
"In a half hour, I get to go over to the church, and play a musical number for a lady that's singing at New Beginnings. (I don't know if I mentioned on here that I got released from Young Women's. Being at New Beginnings last night made me really miss my calling and those girls.) I also get to come home and get everyone ready for bed, and do more dishes from dinner.
"So, if you want to switch me for the day, my "nothing" for your day of schoolwork, I'd be happy to, any day of the week."
Silence, with eyes very wide, from Jakob's side of the table. Maybe he'll rethink his definition of lazy.